December 2010
89 posts
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since this is your favorite medium of airing your...
Kenton-my 80 year old grandmother has been a bigger help moving out of the house than you. I’m really enjoying cleaning your fucking soy sauce out of the fridge and the puke stains on the carpet from one of YOUR friends.
Have a nice day watching movies and blogging about how sorry you feel for yourself. Meanwhile, the people who allegedly don’t respect you are cleaning up YOUR...
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Pop before the ball drops
In Spain, women are now being paid 2.500 euros (appx. $3,300) by the government for giving birth before midnight tomorrow night. This started in 2007 as incentive to boost the nation’s population. Sometimes I wish the United States had this problem. I hate traffic, especially when it’s clogged with Dodge Caravans.
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good: subway gift card
bad: being knocked over by an obese toddler chasing after his mother’s soft pretzel while en route to use said card
dreading the move out.
sometimes i wish i really was a princess so i could just close my eyes and have all of my feudal servants do the lifting and lugging for me. but i guess that’s what younger cousins are for.
(if anyone wants to help, i’m more than willing to shell out money for pizza and your beverage of choice.)
there should be a sports as a second language class. beyond “lutz” and “triple-axle,” my athletic alphabet is severely lacking. at the same time, though, if i really knew and cared about what was going on in the bulls/knicks game, i would feel like at several points in my life i had failed greatly.
i think the title of weirdest christmas presents go to…me.. a few of the highlights from dad: “photo album of the damned: a picture history of the third reich” and a solar voltaic queen elizabeth II (basically if you put her in the light, she gives a cordial wave). obviously i enjoy both of them very much.
merry xmas.
“The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don’t mind some...”
– lawrence ferlenghetti
and so it begins...
“pam, did you notice that savannah didn’t turn on the christmas tree lights? i think it means she doesn’t like america.” -dad
lemonade out of lemons? me?
so it turns out i’ve found a good niche at work. in order to practice my spanish, make time go by quicker, and you know, work, i’ve decided to actively seek out spanish-speaking customers and assist them. some of my coworkers aren’t terribly nice to the “mexicans” (even though none of the people whom i’ve helped have been from mexico, what a shock!) and act as...
kind of reminds me of the smiths? but i like it...
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i have received my first tri-popcorn barrel of the...
pitiful or praisable?: my first thought was “good, now i don’t have to go grocery shopping for a week.”
“There are superfluous people about in this world, out of sight,
They are hollow,...”
– Marina tsvetaeva, who has obviously worked in retail
the throes of a 10 hour shift...
in my mind, everything is turning to ash and then falling into the cracks between the tiles as if they never existed in the first place. if only there were a way that i could do the same. no return labels, no jeggings, no snot-nosed children. just…nothing.
/melodramatics
back to work.
it strikes me as a bit depressing that someone could turn on mtv between 3 and 4 pm today and witness a 25-year-old girl screaming and crying because her mother took away one of her three fried chicken drumsticks and substituted it for broccoli. can someone remind me again why we haven’t been attacked more often?
sushi, new sue sontag book and bukowski poems, followed by black swan all make for a perfect sunday evening with pam.
anywhere out of the world, baudelaire
This life is a hospital where every patient is possessed with the desire to change beds; one man would like to suffer in front of the stove, and another believes that he would recover his health beside the window. It always seems to me that I should feel well in the place where I am not, and this question of removal is one which I discuss incessantly with my soul. ‘Tell me, my soul, poor...
Today, jason ray is donning non-prescription glasses and a clip-on tie to display his tacky thrift. My eyes become bloodshot upon my first sweater folding, however despite the pink glaze that has coated my retinas I can still catch him winking at himself in the fingerprinted mirrors.
Experience the magic.
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Mein kampf
Me: I watched a fantastic documentary on the Gestapo today.
Rebecca: Oh. That's nice. Who's that?
UGH
I hope those middle aged bitches appreciate the fact that I’m risking my life so they can buy hideous turtlenecks.
Edit: They most likely won’t, given their assumption that since I work at a department store I must have fallen short a few times in my life and that my only aspirations include being able to fold 10 cable knit sweaters in under 30 seconds as well as making it home on...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-12-12) →
Local Natives (40)
The Joy Formidable (32)
Yann Tiersen (23)
The National (20)
Lady Gaga (20)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
masochism: a great way to leave a shift early.
four point oh!
how does that work?
notes
don’t forget the most important parts of the MAGIC macy’s campaign. m for “make the connection.” “c” for celebrate the purchase. those are the most important. celebrating should include making a shit eating grin and saying “oh wow. those tapered khakis will be a great gift for under the christmas tree. i asked for some myself for christmas. have a GREAT...
